farewell and thank you

jimmywrites had its 100th consecutive day of posts yesterday. That milestone was an informal goal I had set for myself, and I am now beginning an indefinitely timed sabbatical from the blog format. I am going to work on some longer form essays and cannot find the time to do that and keep up the blog. I want to thank everyone who has been reading this. A consistent group of readers developed over the short life of jimmy (and squirrel) writes, and I just wanted to let you know what a pleasure it has been for me to write these, especially knowing someone was enjoying them (hopefully you were enjoying them). I think this format is wonderful for photos and short essays, but just not the best way to display longer essays/short stories. So, farewell for now.
Thank you.
BTW - don't worry about squirrel, he'll be fine...with the right medication.

be flat

it is my understanding that residual radiation from the most recent universal separation incident (big bang) exists in a frequency nearly equivalent to a b-flat, and that the deepest "note" ever detected is a b-flat emanating from a supermassive black hole (57 octaves below a middle C). And so, as I listen (and who wouldn't)...closely, intently...and it is faint, almost imperceptable, but I think I hear it...wait, listen....there it is...the universe humming, humming a "b flat," hummmmm. shhhh........no, no, wait, goddamn it, i am pretty sure that is the hum from my idiot neighbor's generator. i wish it were easier. i think.

i am afraid that i do not understand this

when i was growing up i knew an adult who thought feet were hideous, really nasty, not meant to ever be seen without covering - ugly, grotesque. That bothered me and still bothers me, because not only did i never understand the aversion, although i have seen my share of gnarly peds - but, you know, there is something special about my feet and especially my toes. Special as in, remarkably beautiful, not special as in, freaky or disfigured. Yep, my toes are pretty spectacular. Nice shape, perfect width and length, toe to foot proportion, and big toe to little toe arc - marvelous. My nails are manicured, healthy, and clear to white. Although normally hidden by shoes, my feet seem to have a need to be seen naked...well that's true about most of me; however, it is only about those stupendous toes that the following has been said (by me): i thought about naming my toes, but i find in them a beauty that cannot be named.

tennis

This looks like an advertisement for Wilson tennis balls, but I prefer Penn tennis balls. I was playing tennis with my daughters last night, and I needed a photo for this blog. Tennis reminds me of how I used to play against the back of my parents garage when I was a kid. I can't even image how annoying the sound of me hitting the back of garage with a tennis ball, over and over, must have been to them. They never once said anything negative about it. Never once. I played tennis for years, and they would ask me how it was going, but not a word about the mind-twisting repetition of thumps. It is a standard I can't match. It is a nice photo of a tennis ball, but I played tennis with my daughters. I wonder if, as they get older, they will remember the colors of the tennis court as fondly as I do.

love, beauty, and perspective

it just doesn't matter how large or beautiful the universe is, when you are sad. sometimes we need love, not perspective.

on a clear day you can see chicago

everyday at work feels like trying to convince my boss that my position is unnecessary, but also that I would like to keep my job. the days are long.

me

This is a picture of me trying to hold my brain. It's big.

sometimes i burn sticks in my fire pit, and think about stuff 2

When i get the chance to burn the branches, sticks, and twigs that fall in the yard. I take it. I collect them in my fire pit. On a nice clear nearly windless night, like last night, I burn them. and then i think about the type of stuff you just don't get a chance to think about without an excuse to be quiet. I started the night using my day's experience to refine and bulletproof my nihilism, but the more I looked into the fire, I saw nothing, and rather than puffing up my nihilistic claims, the nothing was not the nothing that is described by the lack of something. but rather the nothing that has no desire to have anything. the beginning and end of all things. the nothing that is everything, and the nihilism that has meaning. i like my fire pit, where else can you clearly see nothing?

a bad day at work

i was transported by the smell of freshly cut wet grass during a gentle rain. I was transported to a natural world where everything is good - good for the senses and the emotions and the memories, all good. and i understand that natural world is no more or less horrific than the unnatural world I just left where they pay me to show up each day and work. but somehow, the gruesome side of nature is easier to accept than being paid to ignore the nature of life.

u, p, and s

i want to buy a used brown delivery truck and change the meaning of the letters to "Universal Peace Service," and the truck will have to run on bio-diesel, or better yet, it will just float to wherever peace is needed fueled by just good-vibe energy. and i would like to be the driver, or maybe "love pilot" or "grooviness enhancer" would be a better description, and no uniforms - too fascist. It might even be better to fictionalize myself, maybe even into a cartoon - that would make it much easier to "drop-in" wherever peace and love and grooviness was needed and i would like just hand it out freely and let it flow and grow and be beautiful, but I would need TV revenue to support my family, and maybe to make this a TV show I could have an archenemy or nemesis (like a really bitter and angry talking squirrel), but the whole thing would just be a cover for me to spend my real life driving around in a cool panel truck filled with snack food, but delivering peace. I can see it. Peace.

flowers, sunshine, and a bathroom

when the morning sun rises, it briefly puts light through my bathroom window and onto the inexpensive curtain in the photo above. I never notice that curtain or the machine embroidered flowers on it, unless I happen to use the bathroom during those few minutes on a cloudless morning. The sun moves to the other side of the house, and the light is changed back to ordinary. With the ordinary, it is hard to know if what we choose to notice, and what we choose to ignore, and what we just miss, is important. With the extraordinary, it is even more difficult.

my nose

I was sitting outside in the early evening darkness. I had my head tilted to the side resting in one hand which was supporting my chin. and it was just natural for my little finger to go up my nose. It felt good, so I slipped it into the other nostril. No one knew, but in the distance I could hear the highway hum of a car's tires rolling closer and then farther away, and a woman in a neighbor's house coughed near an open window, and children were still playing outside in this faded day become night, and in spite of my solitude, they are all too close, but as I push my finger around in my nose, they are not going to take my private moment. no matter the cost of dignity or hygiene. I need this sensation and I need this moment, and I need to feel the me only I know. personal dignity just got a little more personal, and a lot less dignified. I may wash my hands, but I am not sorry.

day planner

Today is the first day of the rest of your suffering.

eye of Cardinal

This is a super-high-tech-science enlargement of Cardinal's eye (original photo inset below). The cardinal has obviously developed a unique ocular structure through millennia of incremental evolutionary adaptations to now sport this perfect cardinal seeing device. Or not. As human technology improves to this point of being able to focus on the building blocks of existence, it is beautiful to be witness to god's master plan as it is revealed to us at our simple level. The elegance of a Cardinal's eye is proof positive that there is a plan, the plan of a God. It brings a tear of joy to my eye, and to Cardinal's eye, it brings, something else, I'm not sure exactly what, but I am sure it is beautiful, and the way god intended, it.


Cardinal says, "Hey. I'm still alive. I think."

eye ball

There are items all around the house that keep an eye on me. Some are more subtle than others. I appreciate their vigilence. I appreciate their smile and bounce. I don't want to sound ungrateful, but I do sometimes wonder just whose interests they have at heart (if they had a heart). Is there a hidden agenda? Who exactly do you serve, ball? I'm not even sure that's a smile. What do you want from me? Stop looking at me. What if I put you on the internet so you can look at someone else? Will you then allow me an unwatched moment? Maybe? OK then, in the meantime, please stop looking at me...Oh there now, I think eye ball is happy again, he was just lonely. I think he likes you...really likes you.

love song

your soft gentle curves, bring me back, let me go, keep me in
your love, brings me back, lets me go, keeps me in
your thought, brings me back, lets me go, keeps me in