oh well

t is for tonight. tonight i figure it all out. because today was the day the Millionaire was going to leave the big check in my mailbox so i wouldn't have any worries any more. but the Millionaire did not leave a check. now it is tonight, and so, i am stuck. again. if nothing changes, i will go to bed later than i should, and wake up earlier than i want to, and do it all over again. again. with the same pain. the same confusion. so maybe tonight, i figure it all out. and it all becomes okay. and it all makes sense. and i am happy. for real. because everyone i care about is happy. for real. for good. i think maybe i won't figure it all out. tonight. again.