jimbo doesn't count

I cannot get over the fact that I have never had a cool nickname.  I have been spending some time, a lot of time, trying to come up with my own.  All I have right now is – NOT anything that ends in  -eezer.

from the outside, inside

I got myself out of my chair.  I moved because staying in that chair would have been giving unspoken approval to the unnoticed hurt, the pain of jealousy, the crippling anger of selfishness.  And that is how February is.  This time of year, without snow, Illinois is very brown,  Very brown.  The low arc of a winter’s sunny day brings a deep blue backdrop to the brown earth and a quick end to the day. Inside my house, at night, I am a small figure taking a small space in the dim light of electricity.  Inside my kitchen, on a chair, at the short edge of a table, in the evening, and I wonder how I appear, from the outside, through the window, to a stranger passing by while walking his dog.  When he looks in, does he know that I made a mistake?  Do I know he did too?

brunch with jimmy

“jimmy, write me something pure.”

Believe in yourself.

“okay, but it sounds selfish.”

Depends on what you believe.

“okay, but it is vague.”

I think it is universal, not vague.

“okay, then it is trite.”

Okay.

“Okay?”

Believe in yourself.