no, i won't be going to the prom

I'd like to be called (meant as a compliment) "a tall drink of water" by someone. That would make me feel like a cowboy.  A cool cowboy.  That would remind me of the Stetson cowboy hat I bought years ago when we went on vacation out West. And I would think about getting it out of the basement, and maybe even about wearing it; because it is cool and I would have been an awesome cowboy.  But I won't.  Because even though the hat is cool, really it would look stupid on me. 
You know, if you can't be the cowboy, don't wear the hat.
You may as well not even call me "a tall drink of water".
Sorry I let you down.
Sorry for always apologizing.
I'll be over here, if you need me.