why i am destined to be miserable and shorter

sometimes when i sit on the toilet - and, i believe it only happens on the toilet because the seat is lower than any other seat in my house - anyway, sometimes when i sit on the toilet - i can feel my vertebrae readjusting. Some people may take that moment to enjoy, with naive optimism, a perceived relief in the compression of disc and bone in the spinal column. They may also enjoy a little quiet "this is all about me and my body and the special things it can accomplish" time in the poop room. Yes, some people may enjoy that; but i spend that moment, and those moments that follow, mortified by the implications of a collapsing spine. When i entered my teen years, that was how i imagined high school would end for me - crescent-shaped and wiggling on the tile floor next to my locker. As I got older, I just kind of assumed that the involuntary collapse of my spine was one bullet I had managed to dodge. Now in hindsight, i feel it was inevitable.